


Six Times Lily and Sirius Were Alone Together

by bluestbluetoeverblue



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cigarettes, F/M, Gen, Hogwarts, I don't give a shit about Peter (as always), M/M, Marauders' Era, Post-Hogwarts, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 06:37:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10916358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluestbluetoeverblue/pseuds/bluestbluetoeverblue
Summary: Friendship found in the unlikeliest of places.





	Six Times Lily and Sirius Were Alone Together

In 1978, sixth year Defense Against the Dark Arts was for serious students, those who recognized the changes occurring in the world outside the thick castle walls and wanted to be prepared. The lessons had never felt more real, but on one day in particular, Lily Evans was distracted. As the professor gave a detailed description of how to fend off a werewolf, Lily found herself glancing across the room. Remus was red-faced as he and James sparred, practicing each spell the professor described. Lily tried to catch his eye to offer a comforting look but didn’t get the chance.

“Are we practicing or not?”

Lily turned back to her assigned partner with frown. Sirius returned it as a smirk. She fired a hex at him that he managed to duck away from.

“Come on Evans,” he said. “Aren’t you scared of werewolves? They’re the stuff of nightmares; I’d never want to meet one.”

He smiled that special smile he reserved for whenever he knew something everyone else didn’t. It played on his face whenever he, James, Remus, and Peter whispered about their next act of mischief or whenever someone mentioned werewolves. Lily hated that smile. The only thing that kept her from firing another hex at Sirius’ head was knowing that he would hate finding out that she had known about Remus before the rest of his friends. Being much more apt to do extra curricular reading, she was the first to put together Remus’ strange habits, namely, his tendency to disappear every month. Lily smiled her own smile as she dodged the spell Sirius threw at her.

“The only dog you have to deal with is yourself,” Lily spat. Sirius’ eyes widened in a flash of fearful confusion, but it disappeared as Lily kept her face impassive. He assumed it just an insult and moved on, causing Lily to shake her head and glance back at Remus. She had no idea how her friend who was so smart and kind could spend his time with someone so oblivious.

“Come on Evans,” Sirius’ voice called her attention back to him. “I thought you were supposed to be the best in the year. You just want to spend the whole lesson staring at James.” Lily rolled her eyes with a sigh. “That’s what it is, isn’t it?”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s why you hate us. You’re in love with James and are jealous of me.” He shot her a wicked grin.

“Shut up, Black. You’re delusional.” She felt her face turn pink. Sirius paused. The words came tumbling out before he had a chance to say anything. “Let’s talk about who you are in love with, shall we?”

Sirius scoffed, but his eyes were hesitant, suspicious. They stood feet apart, wands still raised as if they were actually learning werewolf defense. They searched each other’s faces as the professor dismissed them all. They glared at each other before stalking off in opposite directions.

***

It was late November in his seventh year, and Sirius sat alone in the library pretending to read about how to use transfiguration in a duel. Instead, he was repeating what he had heard earlier that morning over and over in his head. He had been on his way to find Remus after his runes class when he turned a corner and saw him standing in a deserted corridor with James. Their heated whispers carried down the hall but didn’t make sense.

“Of course I’m not going to tell anyone. I’m your friend, aren’t I?” Remus had said, looking up at James, who gave a granting nod. “But I said it to her, and I’ll say it to you: keeping this a secret is only going to cause everyone trouble. How do you think Sirius is going to feel when he finds out that you have been lying to him?”

James looked away then, towards the end of the corridor, and Sirius yanked his head back around the corner, heart beating in his throat. The scene had confused him then, and it confused him sitting in the library. James had never kept anything from him; they were best friends. James had let him move into his parents’ house, for God’s sake. And the fact that Remus was willing to lie to him too...

Maybe they were talking about a prank they didn’t want Sirius to know about. A prank on him, maybe. Sirius was trying to think of all the things James could possibly lie about when he heard someone enter the empty section of the library he had set up in. He looked up to see long red hair and a Gryffindor scarf and groaned.

“Hello to you too,” Lily responded in an equally annoyed voice. “I’m surprised. I didn’t think you knew where the library was.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and returned to the book in front of him, deciding that schoolwork would be less trying that dealing with her today. It was much more fun to argue with her when James was at his side spinning taunt after taunt, each just flirtatious enough to drive her mad.

But something made him look up. Lily stood with her back to him as she ran her searching hand along a bookshelf. She wore jeans and a Hobgoblins t-shirt with the red and gold scarf draped around her neck. The scarf wasn’t long enough to hide a small stain on the hem of her shirt. Sirius stared at her until something clicked in his brain. A smile spread across his face.

“Nice shirt, Evans.” Lily turned to look at him, clearly not expecting the comment. “You a big fan of the Hobgoblins?” Her eyes narrowed.

“What’s it matter to you?” she asked.

“Oh nothing,” Sirius said, leaning back in his chair. “I was just wondering where you got it, cause the thing is, I could have sworn I’ve seen it somewhere.”

“Lots of people own this shirt, Black.” She turned back to the shelf.

“Look, Evans,” he said as she ignored him. “I’m not gonna ask what situation required you to be shirtless in my dormitory or which of my three charming roommates you were with.”

Lily spun back to face him with an offended expression.

“I was studying with Remus and spilled something on my shirt,” she said through gritted teeth, green eyes daring him to say more.

“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands defensively. She turned to leave. “But just so you know, that’s not James’ shirt,” he yelled after her. “It’s mine!”

***

Lily sighed and pulled her extra jumper out of her bag before laying it over Remus. They were sitting at the very top of the quidditch stands, and Remus was slumped against the back wall, eyes shut. Sure, the full moon had just passed, but what kind of friend begs to sit with you then promptly falls asleep? She looked over at Sirius, who sat on the other side of Remus and quickly looked away from his sleeping friend. Lily shook her head and turned back to the field, eyes searching for the red spot that was James.

“Why exactly can’t you sit with your friends?”

Lily turned again to look at Sirius.

“Remus wanted to sit with both of us.”

“I forgot,” Sirius said, looking bitterly at the field. “Both my best friends are in love with you.”

“Remus is definitely not in love with me, trust me.” She shook her head again, trying to pay attention to the game.

“And James?” Sirius asked, face unreadable. Lily paused a moment.

“You’re his best friend. Shouldn’t you know?”

The stands broke into cheers and boos as a goal was scored, whether it was for Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, neither knew. Lily looked at Sirius for a long moment as he stared absently at the field.

“I love him. I never could have imagined it, but I do. He’s not that same stupid eleven year old, and even though you might not want to admit it, neither are you.”

He continued to stare into the distance even as she stared at him. Remus shifted in his sleep, people a few rows down began chanting GRYFF-IN-DOR, and Lily turned to look at the empty space in front of her as well.

***

Sirius couldn’t quite believe that it was all over. His exams were finished, and he sat with his back against an ancient tree trunk, watching the sunlight playing on the edge of the lake. Seven years at the first place Sirius had ever felt truly alive, and now he was going to leave it forever. The four of them had always talked about moving into a flat together after school, but Sirius wasn’t sure the Marauders were still James’ first choice of flatmates.

Just as the thought crossed Sirius’ mind, he saw a familiar figure shuffling down to the shore of the lake. He watched Lily kicking rocks into the water before she spotted him. He gave a cautious smile he doubted she could see in the distance, and she jogged up the hill to where he sat. Her brows were knit and her face red as she stood over him and stuck out a hand.

“Give me a cigarette.”

“What?”

“A cigarette,” she said impatiently. “I know you have one.”

He looked at her for a second before digging one out of his pocket and handing it to her. She dropped onto the grass beside him as the end of the cigarette lit itself and took a drag.

“Stop giving these to James,” she said when she had blown out a cloud of smoke. “I can’t believe Filch let some stupid Muggleborn sneak these in.”

Sirius was too confused to comment, so he just nodded. Something caught his eye. On the ground beside Lily was a piece of paper, a letter. He looked up at Lily only to find that quiet tears had begun to stream down her cheeks. He averted his eyes.

“I need Remus, but he’s taking his arithmancy exam.” Lily wiped the back of her hand across her face and put the cigarette back in her mouth.

“I could get James,” Sirius offered, ready to escape the awkwardness.

“He wouldn’t understand,” she said, shaking her head. “He’s pureblood and, well, James. He’s never felt out place in his life.”

“Maybe I could help then?” Sirius wasn’t sure where the softness in his voice was coming from. He had never had any desire to help Lily Evans with anything. Maybe it was because she was Remus’ friend, or maybe Sirius just didn’t want her to start crying again. She looked at him like she expected a joke.

“I’m the only one here,” he said with a shrug. She looked at him for a moment before turning back to the water. Sirius thought for a moment that she wasn’t going to say anything, but then she began.

“My sister has always been jealous that I got the letter when she didn’t. She hates me for it.” She took a deep breath. “It doesn’t bother me when stupid kids call me a Mudblood or when adults don’t bother disciplining them for it. It doesn’t bother me that half the professors are shocked that a _Muggleborn witch_ could be as talented as I am. But my sister, she’s getting married in a few months, and I can’t stand knowing that I’m not allowed to be there.”

She clenched her jaw, rubbing the cigarette into the dirt beside her. Sirius swallowed.

“I’m assuming you know why I live with James when we aren’t here.” Lily looked at him briefly, her face splotchy. Sirius wasn’t sure where the words were coming from, but they flew out as if he had been waiting for that moment. “My parents are horrible people. My brother grew up exactly like I did, so I can’t understand why he hates me instead of them.”

He could feel Lily’s eyes on him as he traced a circle in the sand.

“I’m a blood traitor, and he will never speak to me again. But I don’t need him. James is my brother.” He glared at the circle, which looked like a snake to his eyes. “And Remus,” he added, wiping the circle away.

He jumped in shock when he felt a warm hand cover his. Lily’s pale fingers were wrapped around his, but she just stared at the beach during his moment of alarm. He turned to watch the waves lap against the shore with her.

***

They waited until she was eighteen, for her parents sake. That year went quicker that she had expected, and before long she was sitting in tent filled with music and laughter and noise wearing a white dress. She watched her parents from across the room as they blinked at the chaotic mess of wizards all around them and kept to their smiling conversation with Fleamont and Euphemia, the only people they knew. Lily grinned despite the empty chair beside her parents and turned, eyes searching for her groom.

James was on the dancefloor, hair wild and glasses askew. Lily laughed to herself, watching James and Mary Macdonald trying to teach Peter how to dance.

“He’s fighting a losing battle,” Sirius said as he collapsed into the chair beside her, sweat beaded on his forehead. He dropped his bowtie on the table, undid half the buttons on his shirt, and downed a glass of champagne.

“And at his own wedding.”

“I was talking about Moony,” Sirius said, pointing to a few tables away where Remus sat debating the ethics of using felix felicis with Horace Slughorn. Lily grinned.

“And at his best friends’ wedding.” She amended her statement with a laugh. She watched Sirius staring at the distant table, eyes glowing as a smile played on his lips. Lily shook her head and leaned back in her chair.

“Sirius, I have to tell you something important.” He turned to her. “I’m in love with you. I have been for eight years, but I’ve been too afraid to tell you. And you might not feel the same way, but I have to be honest.”

Sirius sat bolt upright, face frozen, mouth hanging open, brow wrinkled. Lily simply looked back at him, face serious.

“What in the bloody hell are you talking about?” he said finally, voice heavy with disbelief.

“Nothing,” she said calmly, surveying the tent once more. “I just wanted to show you how easy it is to tell the truth even when it scares you.”

Sirius floundered. It took a moment for him to glance across the tables and then angrily back at the bride.

“Do me a favor and don’t drink anymore champagne.” He glared at the dancing crowd.

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” Lily said. “For once. But Sirius?” He looked at her reluctantly. “He deserves to know.”

She swallowed what was left in her flute and stood up, white fabric falling into place.

“I’m going to go dance with my husband. I hope you don’t let me spoil the party for you.”

She only made it a few steps before he said, “Lily?” She stopped, turned to look back. He bit his lip as his uneasy eyes found hers.

“I don’t know what to say.”

She smiled.

“Yes you do.”

***

Sirius walked up the drive like he already had a million times and opened the door without pausing to knock. Remus was waiting back at the flat, but Sirius had to get what he needed now. If he gave James a chance, all the stuff he had managed to hold onto after moving out would end up mysteriously lost again. Sirius knew his only chance of getting back his favorite comforter, leather jacket, and everything else James had stolen was now when they were all boxed up. The cottage was quiet when Sirius walked in.

“James?” he shouted into the still house. There hadn’t seen each other in weeks because there was so much going on between work and Remus and moving. Every day, things became more tense as darkness descended. It was nice to have something innocent to tease his friend about. He really did want that box, though.

“He’s not here,” came Lily’s voice as Sirius shouted again. He walked into the next room and found Lily sitting with a book on her very round lap. “Dumbledore summoned him,” she explained.

“Oh.” Sirius tried not to sound too disappointed. They were all having dinner that weekend. He could wait until then to yell at James.

“It feels like we’re still fifteen in some ways, doesn’t it?” Lily asked. She set her book down and rested her hands on her outstretched belly. “Or maybe not.” She smiled and stood with some struggle. Sirius stepped forward to help but she was up by the time he offered. “I’m pregnant, Sirius, not helpless.” She pushed his hand away.

She disappeared through a doorway and returned carrying a box with Sirius’ name on it. He had just taken the box from her when she broke out into a grin.

“What is it?”

“He’s kicking,” she said, holding her stomach.

“He?”

“Just a feeling,” she said with a knowing smile. “Here, feel.” Before he could protest, she had grabbed his hand and was pressing his palm against her belly. For a moment there was nothing, and Sirius was wildly uncomfortable. But then he felt the softest poke against his palm. Lily released him with a smile and he looked up at her, unable to keep the fear out of his eyes.

A baby. It was bad enough when he thought everyone was growing up without him. Worse when he realized why Lily’s pregnancy was so sad for Remus. But this was real. This was going to be a real live baby that he was supposed to godfather. He found himself stepping unconsciously away.

“He’s going to love you,” Lily said softly, reading his mind.. “You and Remus both. Nothing has really changed.”

Sirius looked at her with thankful eyes.

“Now go home,” she said. “Being pregnant is exhausting, and I don’t have the energy to argue with you.”

He returned her smile and turned to the door, box under one arm. He glanced back to watch her settle back into her chair. At that moment, the problems facing them didn’t seem quite so big. He had Remus and James and soon a godson. He had a family, as strange as it was, and there was one person to thank for it. After eight years, Sirius thought that maybe Lily Evans wasn’t so bad.


End file.
